Top 5 Reasons You Should Date Yourself
By Dr. Rachel Greenberg
1. Because falling in love with yourself is a prerequisite: When you date yourself, you're saying to yourself, "Hey! I like you a lot. I think you're cool and pretty and smart and hilarious, and I want to spend time with you. I like your style. I want to wine and dine you, and make you feel good." Once you offer this to yourself, you expect and accept nothing less from your potential suitors.
2. Because it's incredibly fun and groundbreaking: Take yourself out for a relaxing afternoon to get a mani/pedi, or to Starbucks to sip on your latte with an audio book in the sunshine, or on a long hike on a brisk Saturday morning, or testing out a new dinner recipe with all your favorite ingredients, or buying yourself a bouquet of flowers at Trader Joe's because you deserve it and it feels good! This is all really new and fun ways to take care of yourself. It's fanciful and novel, especially if you're not used to treating yourself in these ways. It's as exciting as it is when you meet a new potential romantic partner who you dig. It's fun and freeing, and the fact that it's with yourself makes it monumentally cool.
3. Because it's healthy to be in solitude: This is precious time we give to ourselves, with ourselves. We need to learn to be alone and quiet with our inner landscapes, and to honor, listen to, and take care of who we are and what we need. Solitude affords us the chance to know ourselves in the deep ways that are required when we cultivate intimacy with others. We have to first know how to be vulnerable and intimate with ourselves in our most quiet and still moments.
4. Because learning to trust and respect who you are is vital: We NEED, without a doubt, to learn to trust ourselves. Self-doubt is a beast of a detriment, and it can keep us stuck in patterns that are unsatisfying and destructive. We all hold our own inner wisdom that can guide us towards what we most need and want but we must first learn how to trust and respect who we are. It's only then will we cultivate the right relationship with the right person who can offer us the same.
5. Because once you realize you're confident being alone, you experience freedom that invites the right type of dates and ultimate partner into your life: There is power and peace in settling into the comfort of being alone with yourself. It's pretty neat to feel entirely content in and proud of who you are. You can trust that you are worthy, capable, and confident to take care of yourself because not only do you truly know who you are, but you profoundly value who you are. It is the richest connection of them all.
So, where are you going to take yourself out for your next date with yourself? It can be fancy and classy, or quiet and chill. Whatever it is, make it just what you most want and need to make yourself buckle in your knees at how totally rad and desirable and worthwhile you are.
Dr. Rachel Greenberg is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who practices privately in Orinda, CA. She is influenced by eastern philosophy, western evidence-based approaches to psychotherapy, and creative arts that can help you achieve a strengthened relationship to yourself, behavioral changes to enhance mastery and happiness, and healthy and satisfying relationships. If you're interested in learning more about how to achieve well-being, inner peace, emotional stability and vitality, or are interested in deepening your connection to yourself through awareness practice, feel free to call or email for a consultation and to schedule an initial session.